Unlock the Power of Language
Six Journaling Exercises to Enhance Wellbeing
“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
― Rudyard Kipling
I started journaling when I was about 8 years old. A beloved family friend, Mrs. Edna Gower, gifted me a mauve journal with a unicorn in a meadow, exuberantly rearing on its hind legs. I felt a magnetic attraction to those pages. I so desperately yearned for a place to write my deepest, secret feelings, confess my crushes, and document my philosophies on life.* Mrs. Gower was like the quintessential American grandmother I never had. I met her and her family in the Intensive Care Unit where my mother and her daughter-in-law were being treated. My mother was in a coma and would pass away, about nine months later. We occupied the same family waiting area for days and months. She would bring me coloring books and fresh boxes of crayons (I was 5 years old when we met). I would sit on her lap and just receive the perfumed warmth of her embrace. No doubt those first pages (and all of the pages thereafter) contained much grief, but also, big dreams and hopes. It was one of the greatest gifts I was ever given, which opened a door into my own inner world.
I often find that no matter how painful the hurt, the mere act of putting words to a page somehow manages to give me a chance to process more deeply and come to understand the possibility for meaning to be derived through this alchemical superpower of narration. Scientific data confirms this feeling. Research by James Pennebaker finds that the practice of allowing 15-20 minutes a day to write about your thoughts and feelings provides a sense of emotional release, meaningful perspective, reduced anxiety and stress, and improved physical health (e.g., greater immune function, less visits to the hospital).
Journals are physical containers for the challenges and traumas we endure - a place to unload the feelings that otherwise live secretly in our bodies. Shame and victimhood become null and void when we own our stories. One of the most profound examples of this was from the sexual abuse survivor, Gisèle Pelicot. Ms. Pelicot was the primary target of a series of horrendous mass rape incidents, which brought an onslaught of media coverage in its public trials. She stood courageously in court and simply stated, “It’s not for us to have shame - it’s for them.” Instead of averting the painful truth of her story, she confronted this reality with fierce honesty. What a powerful way to rewrite the narrative, from victim to survivor! This ability to choose how we extract meaning from the events in our lives one that we all can access.
My personal practice has evolved tremendously since those early years of putting pen to paper. Now that I understand the power of words to not only express but shape my emotional, physical, and spiritual reality, I am much more mindful about how and what I choose to write. Journaling is a tool for mental health. The way we talk about a difficult event can empower or harm us, almost as though we are casting spells over ourselves.
Here are my favorite writing practices for mental health:
1) Gratitude. There’s a reason why everyone extolls the benefit of writing gratitudes. Research by Robert Emmons found that people who wrote about daily gratitudes experienced more joy and engaged in more prosocial behavior compared to those who kept a log of daily hassles.
2) Letters to self. I like to write letters to myself for many occasions: like birthdays and milestones, but also to express gratitude and appreciation, or to encourage myself in difficult moments. Research by Sugimori and colleagues found that writing compassionate letters to our past selves can improve mood.
3) Letters from love. I would be remiss if we failed to mention the writing practice popularized by Elizabeth Gilbert in her project: Letters from Love, adapted from the AA practice of “two-way prayer.” The basic idea is that you take an inquiry or issue that is challenging you in some way and try to unlock the perspective of unconditional love. You are doing the writing in the style and voice of what you imagine love sounds like. Many folks find great benefit and insight in this practice and are often surprised to see what wisdom emerges from this practice.
4) The Marriage Hack. This borrows from a protocol used in the work of relationship researcher Eli Finkel, where couples write for 7 minutes about a conflict they experienced, from the perspective of a neutral third party who wants the best for both of them. This exercise done 3 times a year, for 1 year or more, can significantly improve marital satisfaction.
5) Morning Pages. This is an exercise from the cult classic, The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. This practice is intended to be practiced first thing in the morning, as a steady stream of consciousness dump of thoughts that take up 3 pages. This practice is a kind of mental hygiene to support creatives.
6) Vent & Burn. Research on venting suggests that it can cause more harm than good, as we often relive negative events and strengthen the neural pathway to anger, making it a more familiar and accessible emotional state. However, if something is feeling deeply heavy or troubling, I find it often helps me to get it out on paper. I am careful to write with the intention of releasing my anger and I solidify this intention by burning my writing after. There is something so satisfying about watching my story disappear into flames. It’s a reminder to myself that I don’t want to hold on to the emotion any longer than I need to.
For the best results for your mental health, remember to choose your words wisely. We can tap into elevated perspectives by choosing to filter thoughts through the lens of emotional states like hope, gratitude, compassion, and wisdom.
Are you at the crux of a traumatic event? Give yourself some breathing room before digging into the analysis phase. Research on psychological debriefing finds that folks who allow a little time for integration after a traumatic event fair better than those that are asked to talk about it (and relive it) too soon after the event passes.
For those of you interested in exploring more writing prompts, I highly recommend Suleika Jaouad’s Book of Alchemy, which is a collection of writing prompts from talented creatives across multiple disciplines.
I hope you find time to crack open your journals and explore what makes you feel more connected and well today. Happy writing!
*I actually had quite a few, my favorite being that a French kiss is more intimate than sex.